Benefits of Setbacks

Due to the global COVID-19 situation, it seems there are disturbances in the equilibrium. 2020 has really forced us to face uncertainty and letting go. Personally, I’ve experienced stirrings and turbulence on so many levels. I know I’m not alone.

Depending on the local situation, many have no other choice but to work from home while simultaneously home schooling their kids and caring for the most vulnerable around them. We are asked to practice social distancing, wear masks, wash our hands like no tomorrow and avoid unnecessary and big get-togethers. Travelling abroad, and in some cases even in your own country or city, is out of the question.

These trying times have resulted in many of us not only losing our jobs, but our social life as we used to know it. Isolation and loneliness have become familiar to many. Although getting that much needed alone time might have felt like a relief at first, after a while the lack of social interaction really starts taking a toll – as does having to constantly worry about your own and your loved ones’ wellbeing and health.

So, is there anything good about this situation?

I like to think there are many benefits in our setbacks. In fact, I think spotting these deeper meanings is the only way (at least for me) to get through this era of extreme uncertainty somewhat sane.

For me being permanently laid off from work has been one piece in the puzzle of learning how to handle the unknown. It hasn’t been easy to deal with feelings of rejection, insecurity and even failure. Logically I understand that the financial crisis many companies are facing due to the pandemic isn’t my fault. Losing your job still stings, no matter how it happens.

Even in a seemingly difficult situation like this, I try to find a positive effect. I genuinely think it’s refreshing for someone like me who has a strong urge to be on top of what’s going to happen next, having to completely trust and have faith that things will somehow work out. Grasping that hasn’t been easy, but I’m riding a steep learning curve. It’s about calming the constantly yapping and ever so worried mind.

In my experience practicing letting go and detaching from pretty much all of your future plans, can be scary at first. Once you submit yourself to a power greater than yourself, you start feeling lighter. It’s quite a liberating feeling, almost like a meditative state. At some point you realize, life will carry. Eventually you start having less expectations. And in due time then when something unexpectedly nice happens – boy, does it feel great.

In addition to working towards being ok with detaching from stuff, spending a lot of time alone has clarified what I want in life and what my future ambitions are. It might sound contradictory to the letting go part, but I believe the two can coexist. It’s a beautiful balance: focusing on having a clear vision and goals, and at the same time letting the universe take the driver’s seat and allowing it to guide when and how things will appear in my life. There’s just less mind clutter.

I think social distancing and all the necessary remote arrangements have emphasized the importance of community, true friendships and genuine collaboration. It’s said that during the worst times of our lives, we get to see the true colors of the people around us. As we find out more and more about our own characters, aspects of our friendships and relationships are being unearthed. Some of that information might be painful, but at the same time these realizations open doors for authenticity and vulnerable conversations.

As the pandemic continues, I’m sure there’s still a myriad of difficulties, confusion and disappointments I’m about to discover. As they unfold, I’ll do my best to find the silver linings.